Keys to Piano Moving

So the floors of the house are done and the furniture is ready to be moved back into place, wherever that may be. It will be decided upon by the lady of the house ... over and over again. *sigh*

One dilemma left to us by the now very absent delinquents floor workers is the 100+ year old upright. While this would never intimidate my machismo, I find there is a fine tuned string between being intimidated and being over matched. While most old uprights weigh in between 300-500 hundred pounds, I am darn sure this piano has gained everything I have lost. Four guys grunted and groaned moving this major monstrosity three feet. Three of them are now gone, probably humming a song of thanksgiving.

However, lest I diminish this post into something minor, let me share a few major keys in moving a piano on wood, wood laminate or tile floors.

·         Wear non-slick shoes. There’s nothing like feeling the piano is pushing you (experience is speaking).

·         Know where you wish to place it before you start to move it. If anyone then dares to suggest an alternate place, hang her from her tongue and hack her Facebook account telling the world she waxes her leg while watching Family Guy reruns and eating humus.

·         Have the proper moving tools. A four-wheeled dolly is good (if you have the muscle to lift the piano onto it and have it properly balanced). A great option, if you are not moving it across country and up twelve flights of stairs, is to turn a piece of carpet upside down and slide it under the wheels or legs of the piano (a heavy blanket also works). It will then easily glide across the floor by pushing … unless you are under 100 lbs. soaking wet and wearing your mother’s Army boots.

·         Enlist muscular descendants of the Roman gods.

·         Have a sidekick. Everyone needs somebody to state obvious, silly, or stupid remarks while attempting to move a mountain ... and carry the piano stool. Though, of course, my wife said none of these. :)

·         Make sure to leave 2-3 inches of space between the piano and a wall just in case you actually have someone tune this piano of ill repute.

Of course, the easiest way may be to set it on fire, roast marshmallows and buy a nice electronic keyboard.

To this, my back and I are unanimous.